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yiting
26 July
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gimme the world pls.
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Date: Saturday, June 21, 2008 Time: 10:57
okay two more days?hope i can be ready by then. but again, i don't think i can ever say that i am ready. arr why the fuss??i mean isst really such a big deal after all? okay probably yes. but still!! URGH! hmm. with yixiao's help, i was given the chance to find out more about...something. was kinda speechless...eye opening indeed and i was just thinking of how i did those things without being clear of what i was doing, on whom. well. i do not wish to be convinced that i have wasted around one year's effort and time but just felt really...i don't know how to describe it in exact...but now i know i was the one who probably imagined it all. getting all misled by the small pieces of info received. used to think that this may be the best thing that can ever happen to me despite the let downs, i felt happy by just associating with. rushed 10 streets in new york wishing to get that cap but didn't and felt so disappointed afterwards. trying to defend against all criticisms and prove them wrong. i should not go on trying to list out them all cuz it's just about everything one could have done and more. all one shld do is to appear at the right time, do some right things and wait for some idiot to cover her own eyes and fall right in. it can't be called wasted effort because it was worth on that one i imagined but not on the one i picked. and i thought my brain has this softspot that only receives all the 'nice' things and automatically erases the unwanted negative ones. yar i will try to fix that screwed up part of my brain. yes. ANYHOW omfg. it was just so retarded that i did all those things that i thought i wld never look back and laugh at my retardacy but i already am. so whatever. damn. why did i do that? loll as in seriously lol. |