Date: Tuesday, February 04, 2014 Time: 11:36
instead of helping me brave through it all, i become more timid, afraid of finding out more, finding out the wrong, finding out the unwanted. because everytime when i prepare myself to embrace a new answer, it never fails to educate me that i was never really prepared. so i stop asking, and tell myself to stop wondering. to protect. so we are always smiling, so it's all wonderfully positive, so it never hurts. but is that right? is that the way it should be? for i no longer know i no longer see. |
Date: Monday, January 07, 2013 Time: 02:55
and I thought it's a place we will get to. but to no avail I no longer see the light that once shone or perhaps simply flickered. it's diminishing, disappearing. and baby where will we be? in a week a month a half of a year? /the light i no longer see |
Date: Monday, December 10, 2012 Time: 15:51
How did it happen, in the blink of an eye, from 6months to 6days. six days. and how much time does that mean? then five months more. what does that mean? Let these numbers blind me, bind me and let me transcend that very being of time. In a world only known to my wandering mind. Somewhere only we know. maybe. only I after all. |
Date: Monday, November 12, 2012 Time: 02:12
now that we're no longer with each other, I begin to feel secure about your presence and become truly happy to see you happy. Of course I still do care. Looking at the world through your lens, I try to feel, as much as possible, how you feel. When it seems lonely, I am lonely. When it brightens up, I brighten up for you too. It's as if you never left, as if you have always been there, and still are. It's as if things only come to realization upon a conclusion. But time.. I hope time no longer grounds and confounds. I hope time helps us release. release what once grounded and confounded us, release what we once lost ourselves in. I now learn something new every single day. |
Date: Sunday, November 11, 2012 Time: 02:05
all my days fuse into one and there's no one to speak to about it. Thoughts of you occupy every single corner of my body, my room, the streets and views. Everything seems to remind me of you. All I ever did for the past few days was crying myself to sleep, waking up from dreams about you. Everything seems to be a mess, and I no longer have the will to do anything knowing now that you are really gone. I know I know I was the one, but what I really wanted was not for you to let me go. I just wanted to prove to myself how much I meant to you. come back. come back. even thought I know no matter how much I call out it's never gonna happen. but i just can't let it go still. |
Date: Friday, November 09, 2012 Time: 00:18
too many things. too many emotions. and too many memories. how do i make everything ok? |
Date: Monday, October 29, 2012 Time: 23:09
even though there are so many too many thoughts too many uncertainties too many doubts and too much fear.
but I just shut my mouth. keep my heart. let you be.
|
Date: Monday, October 22, 2012 Time: 10:50
let me know if it should not have been this way. something's just not quite right. but i can't put my finger on what exactly it is. there was a time. when i thought that's over. that i thought oh finally. but then/no longer. maybe after all/that basic joy is the most complicated/for that's always how things work what's being myself? i don't even know anymore. |
Date: Monday, August 06, 2012 Time: 14:23
but a celebration of individualism. the little wilted heart. retreat into fragility. curl away and cuddle together to empower to strengthen. baby can you see. we/us but just one. but one afraid to have the other. can't you see. it only dies. it never grows |
Date: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 Time: 11:19
everything seems to be self contradicting. I wish i could embody all these contradictions and figure out something that's truely personal to me. somewhere along the way, I have lost my own identity. I am guessing it's not the result of any one particular incident, but a collection of event. I'm probably where I am right now after the progression of time, like throwing away pebbles- picking out the one i don't like. and eventually, i'm left with nothing. trying desperately to trace things back to where i was, but it's all different now. because no matter what I do, it would not be the same anymore. what's thrown away has been thrown away. It will never be the same ever again. I say I miss who i used to be. but who was I really? I don't even know the answer. I wanna be a creator. but at this moment I don't know what I wanna create. I don't know where I belong what I want to do where to go to. my thought are all jumbled up I try to sort them out there are just so many things going on in my mind I don't know where to begin where to end I have no idea what is going on someone please save me please... |